Week 1 Recap

Yes, it is Friday, but it has taken me this long to mend my broken heart. Some of you may be wondering why I even care, considering I stated I was done with the Bills and interviewing new teams. Well, a friend convinced me to stick it out at least until the Ralph Wilson kicks it and the team moves to another city.

It wasn't that hard of a sell, I've been a Bills fan my whole life. That not to say it hasn't been rough. There have been ups and downs. Actually, its kind of like a bad marriage. I love them, but its just not going to work out. I want to believe, but the constant letdowns keep breaking my heart.

About 5 years ago I was going to split up with the Bills. I had had it. QB controversies, bad management, poor coaching. But, I got an HD TV and decided to give them another try. Like trying to fix a marriage by having a child. Now, 5 years later, I'm not even sure that TV was mine to begin with.

I was ready to call it quits again. My eyes started wandering, temptation everywhere. Hell, even Cleveland looked good compared to my no good bitch of a wife Buffalo Bills. But my friend talked sense into me. "Wait till they move away, you don't want to miss anything good." So I guess I'm waiting till the kids go to college until we divorce.

I didn't expect much on Monday night vs. the Cheatriots. We have never won in that stadium. They have been kicking our ass for years. Buffalo looked horrible in pre-season and just fired the OC, only to give the job to "The Fat Guy," our old 3rd string QB AVP (alex van pelt). Truth is he couldn't possibly do worse play calling than what we have had for the past few years, but the season looked bleak.

Met a bunch of friends out at our bar and settled in for a likely 52-6 blowout. Pats get the ball first. Brady looks rusty. 3rd and short. Of course they go for it, Bills D can't stop shit. Holy crap! 4-and out! Wasn't expecting that. Bills go 3-and-out.
Typical.

NE drives down the field but buffalo D stops them and forced the FG attempt. Yes, attempt, because they missed (it was Wide Right, BTW). Booooyaaaa! Getting exited now. Bills starting to look good. Trent looks great passing and scrambling and no huddlin', and drives us down for a TD pass to Nelson. Bills Score FIRST!!!!!! We are going nuts in the bar. This O looks much better than in the pre season, the play calling is solid, and the NE D looks bad. Real Bad.

We stop NE on the next possession. Our D is looking aggressive and mean, not unlike CK at the poker tables. After a few possessions back and forth, NE manages to get on the board. 7-7. This when I expected it to go down hill.

But no! The mighty Tom Brady tosses a pick-6 right to Aaron Schobel. Shots all around the bar! NE makes it 14-10 with a field goal before the half ends. Dammit! Belicheat is sure to make some halftime adjustments and crush us.

But somehow we keep them off the board in the 3rd quarter while advancing our lead with a FG. OMG! OMG! We might actually do this. My wife is forgiven of all her past sins. She has a sexy new outfit just for me!!! No Huddle is rolling now!!! NE D can't stop our run game. Fred Jackson is owning them!!! TD!!!!! More shots, its party time!!!!!!! Men kissing men in the bar, drinks are flowing, and Bills are up 24-13 with 5 min to go. We are actually going to win in NE!!!!

I'm texting like mad, talking shit to you know who.

Then it all goes blank.

I woke up the next morning to find out my wife is fucking Tom Brady again. I'm only staying for the sake of the kids.